I Don't Want to Go to My Dad's Funeral
by Green Rainboots
Summary: “I don’t want to go to my son’s funeral” Skikaku’s words are etched into Shikamaru’s brain, just like everything else about his father. His face, his voice, everything. Sad story.


_I wrote this story in one draw! It didn't take more than maybe two hours!_

_Anyway, this is a sad story :( where I have killed someone. Now, incase you don't like it when main characters die, I will reveal to you that it is Shikaku Nara who is dead. And he is dead when the story starts._

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"I don't want to go to my son's funeral"

Shikaku's words are etched into Shikamaru's brain, just like everything else about his father. His face, his voice, everything.

Shikamaru sits on a mattress that Choza put up for him, curled up in a ball. His knees are pulled up to his chest, his arms around his legs, and his chin resting on his knees. He's still wearing his pajamas, despite the fact that it's way past noon, and they've already eaten lunch. Choji and his parents are out in the mountain behind their house, doing something or other. Shikamaru didn't really listen past "We're going out for a while, just to the mountain behind the house", which Choji said to him before they left. He has no idea where Yoshino is exactly, beyond that she is still in the Akimichi home.

He is staring blankly at the door to Choji's room, and he can't think of anything but that evening when his father said that sentence.

He blinks and realizes that he has been very tuned out of the world for a while when he hears the Akimichi family come home again. They're not being noisy, but he can hear their heavy steps and the voices talking about something. But he doesn't move. He hears someone, most likely Mrs. Akimichi, walking past Choji's room and into the guest room a little down the hall, where Yoshino is staying. Not long after, Choji walks into the room, and gives Shikamaru a small smile.

"Hey" he says quietly.

"Hey" Shikamaru says, voice hoarse from not being used in two days, but doesn't smile back. He would if he could, but he can't. Choji doesn't say anything else, and neither does Shikamaru. The Akimichi simply takes a new pair of boxers and his relaxing clothes, and then leaves the room again, obviously going to take a shower. Had it not been for Choji, Shikamaru wouldn't have showered in days.

Shikamaru moves his head so his closed eyes are pressed against his knees. He clutches his legs tighter, but only weakly fights the oncoming memory. At last, he lets it repeat in his head.

-X-X-

_Someone knocks on the door. Yoshino grumbles something when Shikamaru stays in his comfortable position on the couch with a book, and gets up to open the door._

"_Mrs. Nara?" a deep, serious voice says._

"_Yes" Yoshino says._

"_I have something very serious to tell you" the man says. "You might want to sit down"_

_There are footsteps, the door closing, and a man follows Yoshino into the living room. He is wearing the regular ninja uniform and a grave look on his face. Shikamaru frowns and sits up. Yoshino takes a seat in the chair she had recently vacated, while the man remains standing._

"_I'm very sorry to have to tell you this" he says. "But Shikaku's recent mission didn't exactly… go well. He got into a fight with some enemy ninja"_

"_Oh" Yoshino says. Shikamaru notes that while she looks upset at these news, she also looks like it's nothing really new. She has obviously heard these kinds of news before. But Shikamaru also notes that she looks wary, like she's expecting something bigger to come._

"_And that fight turned very ugly" the man continues, and Shikamaru's frown deepens. "Again, I'm really sorry. Shikaku didn't make it out of the fight alive"_

_Shikamaru feels like he's been hit in the stomach. He stops breathing, frown disappearing, and he feels weak._

"_You mean… he's dead?" Yoshino asks, but Shikamaru doesn't really register it. "He's really… dead?"_

_The man says nothing, but Shikamaru suspects he nods, because the silence is there for agonizing seconds before Yoshino breaks down in sobs._

_It feels like being hit again, because if his mother is __**crying**__, then it really is true._

_Shikaku really is dead._

_Shikamaru's vision blurs, and when he touches his cheek, he is not really surprised that there is a wet trail down it. His soft crying is quick to turn into violent, body-shaking sobs, and his hands grab the back of his neck._

-X-X-

Lady Tsunade had, for some strange reason, ordered the Akimichi family to get the news and check up on Shikamaru and Yoshino. The three had stepped into the house and quickly decided that Yoshino and Shikamaru were unable to take care of themselves.

And that was how Shikamaru ended up in his current position. He is staying at his best friend's house until he and his mother are deemed capable of carrying on with life by the Akimichi family.

When the door opens again, Shikamaru looks up and sees Choji standing there in his relaxing outfit, his hair still wet. The chubby boy sits down next to his best friend and puts an arm around him. He says nothing, and neither does Shikamaru.

Choza comes in a while later, after Choji had started to tell Shikamaru about something funny Ino and Sakura did not long ago.

"Hi boys" he says. "Dinner's ready"

The two teenagers get up and follow him out. While they head for the dining room, Choza heads for the guest room to get his wife and Yoshino.

They don't really eat their dinner in silence. While Shikamaru and Yoshino say almost nothing, the Akimichi family talk away. They don't blabber on and on, but they keep the conversations going in order to avoid silence.

Hours later, when Choza and his wife have ordered the two teenagers to go to sleep, both Shikamaru and Choji are still wide awake. Shikamaru doesn't think he can sleep, so he stays awake, and Choji stays awake with him. Shikamaru remembers when Shikaku would stay awake with him because of something or other. Especially that night after Asuma's funeral.

Shikamaru chokes out a sob, hiding his face in his hands, and Choji climbs out of his bed. He sits down next to Shikamaru and helps the boy sit up. They've sat like this before in the last couple of days. Shikamaru keeps hiding his face in his hands as he cries, and Choji has both his arms around his shoulders. Shikamaru leans slightly into Choji, seeking the comfort his best friend is providing him with.

Shikamaru falls asleep in that embrace. In Choji's strong, chubby arms, and his hands fall from his face, revealing the upset frown and tear trails. Choji tucks Shikamaru in somewhat, laying him down again and putting the blanket over him, before he gets back into his own bed.

The bell is ringing. A rather large assemble of Shinobi are dressed in black and standing among the many graves. The funeral passed by in a blur for Shikamaru. He remained where he still is: in between Choji and Ino. Choji has his arm around Shikamaru's shoulders, as he's had so many times within the last few days, and Ino is standing on his other side, sometimes rubbing his arm briefly. He knows his mother is standing in Mrs. Akimichi's comforting embrace, close to lady Tsunade.

Shikamaru didn't cry during the funeral. He's not crying now either. He snaps out of his daze when Yoshino steps forward, holding a bouquet of flowers that Inoichi provided her with. It's a bouquet of Shikaku's favorite flowers. She kneels down in front of one of the gravestones and puts the flowers down. She doesn't get up again. She stays there, and her shoulders start shaking. Shikamaru feels like he's supposed to go over to her and comfort her, but he doesn't move. He doesn't think he even could comfort Yoshino.

Mrs. Akimichi rushes over to Yoshino and helps her up. Yoshino is hiding her face in her hands when they walk back to the crowd. Shikamaru looks at the flowers in front of the gravestone and feels like he is supposed to do something. Go there and put something on the grave as well. He looks at Choji to ask if he should put something on the grave, but is silenced by the surprise of the small black bag the brunette is holding up with a small smile. Shikamaru takes the bag, and smiles sadly as well as humouredly by the content.

The bag contains Shogi pieces. Judging by the amount, it's an entire set.

"Thanks, Choji" Shikamaru mumbles, and Choji simply squeezes his shoulder before giving him a light push in the back to get him going. Shikamaru walks to the gravestone and kneels down in front of it. He reaches out a shaking hand and runs his fingers over the letters, feeling the tears run down his cheeks before they even got to blur his vision properly.

_Shikaku Nara_

That's all it says. Shikamaru bites his lip, and notices that his tears have fallen onto the stone, making dark spots appear on it. He opens the small bag again, and empties the content of Shogi pieces in one of the two vases that were actually meant for flowers. Shikamaru doesn't think anyone will really mind. And it suits his father better to have Shogi pieces at his grave than flowers.

He starts shaking all over, and can feel a lump in his throat that he knows will become a sob at some point. But he won't break down now. Not until all the others have left. Then he'll have a proper breakdown and a proper grieving.

He hears footsteps behind him, and is not surprised when Choji's familiar chubby arm is around his shoulders again. He's more surprised when Ino's soft hand is around his elbow, but he says nothing and does nothing. Ino puts a bouquet of white poppies down next to the bouquet Yoshino left.

He has no idea how long he sits there. Nobody comes over and tells him and his friends to get up, so they remain where they are. Eventually people start leaving. The majority just leave without saying goodbye, but Shikamaru knows that a lot of them, most of them actually, tell Yoshino they're sorry for her loss, and some of them may come and visit the grave later.

Shikamaru looks up from the gravestone and his father's name when he feels a new hand on his shoulder.

Naruto is standing there, giving him a sad smile. He doesn't make any kind of comment, or smile brightly in an attempt to cheer Shikamaru up. No, he simply pats Shikamaru's shoulder and gives him that sad, sympathetic, and comforting smile before walking away again. He still says nothing, and Shikamaru is amazed at Naruto's ability to act like that. He's also grateful for it, just like he's grateful that Choji and Ino remain silent.

Shikamaru looks back at the gravestone and takes a deep, shaky breath.

"So, dad" he mumbles. "Here we are. At your funeral. If you saw me now, I'm sure you'd have some sort of snarky comment about me. Maybe you'd have one about mom as well, but you'd never tell her. We're incapable of living on our own at the moment. Well, you know what? That's what you get for dying on us"

There's no venom in his voice, just deep grief and sorrow. Choji rubs his arm briefly, encouraging him to go on. "But hey, look at the bright side" Shikamaru continues. "You'll never have to go to my funeral, like you said you didn't want to. Instead… instead, I got to go to yours"

Shikamaru swallows, hoping to get the lump out of his throat, but it refuses to budge, and he leans forward with a loud sob. Choji pulls him closer to his chest to give him comfort.

"God dad!" Shikamaru shouts. "Why did you have to die?!"

He doesn't care that his words are overused. He just starts screaming in pain, grabbing onto Choji's other arm around his chest, burying his face in the brunette's shoulder. He screams and sobs, tears running down his face. Neither Choji or Ino shush him. They just let him cry. At some point, Choji starts rocking Shikamaru softly from side to side, and Shikamaru's sobs and screams slowly die down.

It takes him a few minutes to remove his soaked face from Choji's shoulder, and until he does, Choji keeps rocking him softly. Shikamaru finds it very comforting. When he looks up, he sees the wet patch on Choji's shoulder, and smiles apologetically. Choji smiles back, and the smile tells Shikamaru that it's perfectly fine. He lets go of Choji's arm and looks back at the stone in front of him. He reaches out and runs his fingers over the name and the leaf engraved on the stone and smiles sadly.

"You said you didn't want to go to your son's funeral" Shikamaru says. "Well, this may be a little late to say, but I want you to know, and I'm pretty sure you're listening. You're close by, even if you're dead and you're listening. Maybe I should have told you this when you were still alive, but I guess this will have to do" he takes a deep breath. "I don't want to go to my dad's funeral"

**The End**

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_What did you think? Was it good? Bad? In between? I hope you liked it!_


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